07-31-2011 Sunday

Well, it was a good week and has been a good month overall. I had my 9th chemo treatment Thursday which now take only two short hours rather than six or seven. Before treatment, Dr. Masri, Catherine and I went over the radiologists report on my last Monday's CT Scan and looked over the actual scans as well. The report said that the masses are basically unchanged in size or shape, which is a good thing... we just don't want them growing again! Looking at the actual images seemed to indicate (this is just visual mind you) that the scar tissue that was in my lung from when it partially collapsed (at the beginning of this whole adventure) seems to be healing well to the point of disappearing and that the mass on my chest seems to be flattening out and maybe even getting smaller. Again, those are visual observations and not on an official medical report... but its encouraging to me! A little more good news. My feet are starting to feel much less numb and painful. I don't know if its is the ALCAR/ALA suppliment that I've been taking, the steroids that I have to take before treatment, or some combination of those and the passing of time... it doesn't really matter, all I know is that they're feeling better right now! Grant brought Eli to the Cancer Treatment Center during my treatment and we got to watch him that afternoon. He is so cute!... and growing so fast, and he's starting to smile and giggle and coo and blow bubbles and... He's just awesome! The rest of the family is doing well too. We all feel so blessed to have the support of friends and family and church family and most importantly, the love and grace of God in our lives. There are still brief instances when it flashes through my mind, "why me?" But then I look around and see all of the blessings in all of our lives and especially in my own life and I think, "God uses all things for good and this is my opportunity to demonstrate how God's strength and love can bring anyone through even the worst of situations!" God is not just good, God is truly awesome!

07-18-2011 Monday

Hello everyone. I know it's been some time since my last entry but it truly is one of those situations where "no news is good news". I've had another chemo treatment (number 8) over the past month and the side effects seem to be holding pretty steady. The first feeling of total exhaustion hits me on the Monday or Tuesday after my Thursday treatment. It seems to be taking a little longer to get back up to speed unfortunately. I worked from home most of last week only making it in to work on Thursday. As I said in a previous post, I no longer loose my appetite nor does any food or drink taste like crap. My top three side effects are extreme fatigue, achy joints and muscles, and the lingering neuropathy (numbness and pain) in my feet. The neuropathy seems to be improving slightly but it can pick up the pace anytime as far as I'm concerned! Since my last post, my beautiful wife had a birthday on July 4th and my beautiful daugher-in-law Jody had one just yesterday July 17th. Eli, my grandson, is growing like a little weed and now he is starting to smile and giggle and use his voice more and more. Jody said the best birthday present she got was from Eli when he rolled over from back to tummy for the first time! Way to go Eli! One of the nurses at the Cancer Treatment Center asked me the other day, "are you tired of telling everyone that you're tired?" My answer was "YES!" I do appreciate their concern and I'm sure it gets redundant for them to repeatedly ask, "How are you doing?' simply to hear my reply of' "Pretty good... just tired." But at the same time I thank God that I can honestly say, "just tired" rather than, "just horrible" or "I can hardly stand the pain!". You know, the Bible tells us that God only gives us burdens that we can bear with His help. Well, last January I found out that my body was attacking itself and He was immediately there to hold me up when I thought I would fall, to give my body and mind the strength and wisdom needed to battle this devious and deadly enemy, and guide the those who give me love and support and reassure me that I am not in this battle alone. God, I thank you for your love and grace and for your presence in my life. Amen.