07-18-2011 Monday

Hello everyone. I know it's been some time since my last entry but it truly is one of those situations where "no news is good news". I've had another chemo treatment (number 8) over the past month and the side effects seem to be holding pretty steady. The first feeling of total exhaustion hits me on the Monday or Tuesday after my Thursday treatment. It seems to be taking a little longer to get back up to speed unfortunately. I worked from home most of last week only making it in to work on Thursday. As I said in a previous post, I no longer loose my appetite nor does any food or drink taste like crap. My top three side effects are extreme fatigue, achy joints and muscles, and the lingering neuropathy (numbness and pain) in my feet. The neuropathy seems to be improving slightly but it can pick up the pace anytime as far as I'm concerned! Since my last post, my beautiful wife had a birthday on July 4th and my beautiful daugher-in-law Jody had one just yesterday July 17th. Eli, my grandson, is growing like a little weed and now he is starting to smile and giggle and use his voice more and more. Jody said the best birthday present she got was from Eli when he rolled over from back to tummy for the first time! Way to go Eli! One of the nurses at the Cancer Treatment Center asked me the other day, "are you tired of telling everyone that you're tired?" My answer was "YES!" I do appreciate their concern and I'm sure it gets redundant for them to repeatedly ask, "How are you doing?' simply to hear my reply of' "Pretty good... just tired." But at the same time I thank God that I can honestly say, "just tired" rather than, "just horrible" or "I can hardly stand the pain!". You know, the Bible tells us that God only gives us burdens that we can bear with His help. Well, last January I found out that my body was attacking itself and He was immediately there to hold me up when I thought I would fall, to give my body and mind the strength and wisdom needed to battle this devious and deadly enemy, and guide the those who give me love and support and reassure me that I am not in this battle alone. God, I thank you for your love and grace and for your presence in my life. Amen.

06-18-2011 Saturday

Greetings and salutations! : ) It has been quite a busy week. Early Monday morning I went to visit Lynette at Covenant and get another CT Scan of my lungs to see how treatment is progressing. Then on Thursday, Catherine and I headed to the CCTC (Covenant Cancer Treatment Center) for the morning. I had gave blood and urine samples before doing a follow up with Dr. Masri. My blood counts are all holding pretty good and the CT Scan gave us good news. Of the three masses in my right lung, one was quite a bit smaller than the 04-25-2011 CT Scan, one changed to a more round shape and was slightly smaller, and the third had remained the same size. The mass in my left chest/breast was also the same size as well. At first I was kind of disappointed that they hadn't ALL shrunk but Dr. Masri pointed out that I am now in a "maintenance cycle" and the goal is to shrink the masses if possible but to definitely "maintain" their size... we don't those nasty things getting bigger! That made feel alot more positive about the results! After that I had my treament, which only took a couple of hours and then we got to go home. Eli spent the afternoon with us too which made our day even more special! Then, last night I went to the Relay For Life walk at Hawkeye Community College. I was truly impressed! It was extremely organized, free food was provided to cancer survivors (my cancer isn't gone but I am surviving so I'm considered a Survivor) and their caregivers, I got a free "Survivor" t-shirt, and walked my first "survivor lap". Not an event anyone really wants to participate in but it was an honor for me. As we all walked the lap, the spectators and team members applauded all of us all along the route. It felt kind of strange to be applauded for being sick but it was truly moving to have them appreciate the mental and physical strength needed for all of us to become survivors. I also ran into a bunch of old friends and classmates (most of whom were team supporters and not survivors thank the Lord) and got to chat for a while with them. You truly felt the support and compassion of your fellow man and the presence of God. He truly is an awesome God and I believe He is guiding the efforts of researchers to find a cure for this disease. Have a blessed week everone and all you fathers (including my son this year... woo hoo!) have a safe and happy Father's Day. God Bless.

06-13-2011 Monday

Hi everyone. I have a few things to share that I think you will find interesting. To begin, let's start with news of my brain tumor. Last Wednesday morning I had another MRI, my 3rd so far. As I've said before, they are not painful in any way but this time I had to hold my head still - perfectly still - for around 75 minutes! If that wasn't bad enough, I was fighting of the tail end of a cold and swallowed so much to keep from coughing, that I almost ran out of spit! talk about cotton mouth! But God was with me and we made it through with flying colors! Later that afternoon, Dr. Ryken (my neurologist) compared my three MRIs. Even he was somewhat surprised to see that the tumor is now about 1/3 of the size it started at in January! He even said he was going to do some reading on the current studies of the effect of Avastin (one of the drugs I get during my chemo treatments) on benign brain tumors. He also noted that since I don't seem to have any permanent hearing loss or symptoms, he now believes that my tumor is not an acoustic neuroma but a meningioma. Needless to say, with these results, Catherine and I were beyond happy! We know that it is the hand of God guiding my healing, my treatments, and all of those who care for me during this ordeal! Thank you heavenly father!!! As for the cancer, I had another CT Scan this morning and we will review the results with  Dr. Masri (my onocoligist) this Thursday before chemo treatment #7. The side effects on the new chemo cocktail that I receive seem to be much less caustic (for lack of a better word) to my body than the mix used during my induction phase. My biggest complaint at this point is the perepheral neuropathy (numbness/nerve damage) in my feet caused by the treatments during the induction phase. However, as I've said before, I new there would be pain and discomfort going into this situation, and I also know that God is guiding my treatment and my recovery and we all know that God's plan is not always easy to understand. We have become creatures that want immediate satisfaction, but must remember that our ways ARE NOT God's ways nor vice versa. Thank you for your healing strength Lord. To close, I had to include a little about our newest family member... my grandson Eli. He is simply awesome! In addition to being the cutest baby ever, he is now starting to smile a lot and coo, giggle and talk back when you talk to him. Thank you Lord for blessing our family with this source of joy! He is the the boost that we all needed at this time in our lives! God Bless all of you and thank you for your continued support and prayers! Praise Jesus!!

05-31-2011 Tuesday

Hello all. Haven't posted for a while mainly because there wasn't anything too earth shattering to write about. My reaction to the latest "chemo cocktail" was not as severe as the previous mix. I still got tired and achy but I did not lose my appetite nor my sense of taste! Thank goodness... sort of. Since food still tastes good, I have to watch that I don't get into the over-eating habit. But as with this whole experience, all I can do is take one day at a time. My finger-tips and feet are slowly (I stress SLOWLY) starting to loose their numbness. Now it only feels like ONE extra pair of socks instead of two. As I said, my family and I have learned quickly to appreciate each day for itself because even in the best of circumstances, our days with family and friends are limited. But even though they are limited and beyond my control, I have done my best to abandon worrying about it and trust in God. As His word says, "Can all of your worry add even a single day to your life?" To close for today, a quote from the song "Forever": "... for He is good, He is above all things. His love endures forever! Sing Praise!". God bless you all! 

05-14-2011 Saturday

Well, my first week on my new "chemo cocktail" was pretty much like the first week on my original cocktail. I received treatment on Friday (the 6th) and felt pretty good until the exhaustion hit me on Tuesday. Thankfully, I didn't feel nauseous or have any major aches or pains... just really, REALLY tired. The neuropathy (numbness) in my feet is still bothering me a lot but I'm hoping that will begin improving now that I'm off of Taxol. A good thing to pass along to everyone!. On Tuesday, Catherine and I celebrated (sort of) our 31st wedding anniversary. I still find it hard to believe that God blessed me with such a wonderful woman. She has alway been there to keep me grounded and encourage me in even the worst of times. She is truly a Godly woman! I love you babe! By the way, our Relay For Life teams at Prince Of Peace have decided to name the teams in my honor. Thank you so much! This year's teams will be called, "Hicok's Hopefuls". If you have the chance, please consider joining one of the teams or supporting them financially. Their efforts, and all of the teams' efforts, are going toward curing this nasty disease known simply as cancer. With all of us helping, soon the mention of this word will be a thing of the past rather than chemotherapy or radiation treatments or surgeries or... a death warrant. I thank all of you, my family, and most of all my Savior for your continued love and support. God Bless!  : )

05-09-2011 Monday

Well, last Friday I received my first "maintenance" chemo treatment with the Avastin / Alimta combination. Treatment only took about 2-1/2 hours instead of 6 - 7 hours! WOO HOO! So far no major side effects except a few patches of itchy skin and my face is looking a bit like a teenager (zits kinda appearing out of nowhere)! Maybe its the steroids rather than the treatment and they'll go away just as quickly. I finally seem to recovering from feeling exhausted the last two weeks and my appetitie is slowly improving. The only real annoyance right now is the neuropathy (numbness) in my feet. I feel like I've got a couple of pair of socks on all the time! They don't hurt unless I'm standing or walking too long but like I said, the numbness gets really annoying. But if that is the worst side effect that I'll get, I feel pretty blessed. One other note to pass along. Although he and I were not close and had not actually spoken in more than ten years, my Dad passed away in Colorado Friday afternoon from pretty extensive lung cancer. He had known about it for several years and had chosen not to receive any treatment. As I said, we weren't close but I am sorry he had to suffer the pain he did and I'm glad that the suffering has ended for him. I don't know if he had accepted Jesus, but I pray that God extended him His mercy. Rest in peace Dad. As I close today, I want to thank God for all of the parents (and adults in general) that shape and guide our lives in positive ways. Imagine how much better our world would be if all of our children's examples modeled themselves after God and demonstrated God-centered lives rather than self-centered lives. Have a blessed and Godly week everyone! : )

05-03-2011 Tuesday

Sorry for my delay in posting my latest. I have no excuse except for procrastination! In any case, the news Friday was good. The radiology report comparing my last CT Scan and the one from mid-March says that the masses continue to slowly shrink! Thank you Lord God and thank you all of my friends and family that continue to keep me in their prayers. Now my treatment changes over to maintenance phase. I agreed to be on a study in which the random choices were Avastin (which stops the blood supply to the masses) or Alimta (which robs the cancer cells of folic acid when they're ready to divide and cells that don't divide simply die) or a combination of Avastin and Alimta. And the random choice (chosen by a computer somewhere) chosen for me was... drum roll please... the Avastin and Alimta combination! I was praying for this result. Not that I know it will work better than the other choices, but that if I'm going to be kind of a "guinea pig" (so to speak) in a study, I would prefer that I actually test the choice that is being tested! Besides, it would seem to make sense that a two-pronged attack would be a more effective treatment (as long as the side effects aren't too horrible!) Because of the Alimta I have to get periodic B12 shots and take folic acid tablets daily. My first actual chemo treament with this combo is this Friday (which should only take two hours instead of six or seven). Dr. Masri is also switching me over to coumadin (a blood thinner tablet) and off of Lovenox (a blood thinner shot). So temporarily, I'm on both until they get the coumadin dosage figured out. (An interesting and somewhat shocking fact... the Lovenox shot that I currently inject twice a day are around $100 per shot! Thank goodness my employer has good insurance coverage! It gives you a whole new perspective on those that are NOT insured!!) As I said earlier, I thank all of my friends and family who are providing the power of prayer for my treatment and recovery. Only by your love and support and the grace and will of God do I have even a glimmer of any hope in defeating this disease. I truly believe that God has more of His work for me to do here on earth. And if He doesn't, then I know that I have a place in His Kingdom! It is truly a win-win situation! God Bless you all.